what can help me not be so shaken by my reverse witnessing and JW apologetics?
Don't answer their questions.
They are the ones claiming to have all the answers, so require them to provide the proofs for their answers to your question.
Guilt is good. Make them feel guilty for not answering your question.
Never ask a question unless you know they don't have a sane answer for it.
Don't make statements unless you know that they know that your statement is backed up by literature that they profess to trust .... preferably literature that is available immediately, (on their own bookshelf is best).
Remember at all times that it is not you that requires an excuse to stop worshipping a god that is hiding in his privey, it is up to them to explain why they still carry on accepting instructions from a bunch of Brooklyn religious nutters when that god never told them anything miraculous that actually happened .... ever.